Pecan Sam was a man who lived with a toucan. When his friends would come by in the afternoon to share a beer, they'd always mess with him, thinking his toucan a parrot, see 'cause they were bored alcoholics, and there's nothing more annoying than a bored alcoholic on a bender.
Pecan Sam was completely crazy. He'd run down the street nekkid as the day he was hewn from some clay that went away with his mother when she died in the backseat of a stranger's car as he lay in the crib. The stranger took care of him until he was hit by a bus. After that, years of three-month stays in foster homes.
Now he ate breakfast for every meal.
